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December 27th, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 06:14 pm - i had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real.
"Time takes it all whether you want it to or not, time takes it all.
Time bares it away, and in the end there is only darkness.
Sometimes we find others in that darkness,
and sometimes we lose them there again.
- Stephen King"
take me back to disney? take me back to the magic?
debra's superlong update inspired me to update as well.
it's sunday. i hate sundays. but you all probably know that by now.
i can't believe that christmas is over. i feel like the season came and went in a week.
it really wasn't the best, or the worst, christmas to date. but it did have some magical parts.
i have all these new theories and ideas about life, but i think the most important one i currently need to
keep telling myself is to just cherish what you have now, say what you feel, and enjoy the moment.
because it could all be gone tomorrow.
don't go away.
2009 is almost over. I know debra & emily are pumped about this lol.
I wouldn't say it was a GREAT year, but it wasn't AWFUL either. I had some great days and some horrible days.
but thats just the way life is. however, i do have a resolution for next year, and i think i need to stick to it.
Be more positive. More hopeful. More thankful. and happier....
I can' believe it's going to be 2010. It's weird even typing it. But I also still can't believe i've been alive for more than two decades. so old, so old.
today debra and i went to breakfast and to see "it's complicated." i haven't seen her in forever, so it was
really nice to see my best friend again. i don't shine if you don't shine. the movie was HILARIOUS
and really, really good. except for the parts where it made me super sad. oh well.
tomorrow begins the last week of the year. i'm going to try to make it a good week, because
i really, really need to keep my mind busy. possible painting masterpiece coming up? i think so.
i love you all and hope you had a great christmas. i'm sorry your CDs are late, i'm a slacker- but
i promise they're coming :).
this is to a girl who got into my head
with all the pretty things she did
you know, you keep me up in bed
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/crushed.png) crushed
Current Music: the spill canvas- all hail the heartbreaker
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rage_more_love
 | 10:10 am - i want to be that cause of happiness in you
"I'm really trying here, to be happy.
And i can't breathe,
i can't breathe with you looking at me like that
so just stop"
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/sad.png) sad
Current Music: the academy is...-after the last midtown show
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December 26th, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 03:22 pm - slow it down, you have a tendency to rush back into your past
"Somebody told me that
this is the place where
everything's better and
everything's safe."
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/restless.png) restless
Current Music: tv-a walk to remember
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December 25th, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 12:58 pm - i know exactly what i want this year, santa can you hear me?
guys, i officially love christmas again :)
selfish as it sounds-tons of amazing gifts certainly make you happy.
i got so many HOPE related gifts, it was actually quite funny.
but most of all
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU MY FRIENDS
i love you very much.
have an awesome day :)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/thankful.png) thankful
Current Music: none
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December 24th, 2009
oh_thechemicals
 | 11:37 pm
in less than a week i will commence my plan to chacha at minimum $850 in 4 months
god help me.
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rage_more_love
 | 07:56 pm - it's gotta be this one, you don't have to fake it
oh christmas, you have been very good to me.
but i'm sick of you now. please go away.
happy christmas eve?!?
(why is it HAPPY for eve but MERRY for the day?...things that make you go hmmm)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/artistic.png) artistic
Current Music: tv
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rcyncyn
 | 10:43 am - oh...
please don't cry when i tell you this....
huh? why? what to do you mean?
no, forget it...nevermind...
no no...say it! what? what's up?
I feel like kissing you right now
[sobbing starts] and we hug so tightly
you smell soo good...you smell like home
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December 23rd, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 04:08 pm - if there's so much i must be, can i still just be me, the way i am?
tomorrow is christmas eve. i'm sorry what?
i can't sum it up better than debra on the phone this afternoon
"christmas i'm still working on halloween where did that go?"
seriously? seriously.
things have happened so fast these past few weeks,
i feel like life is moving at hyper speed.
but i've never felt this deep, happiness in a long time.
i feel so, so sick right now. but i have made a new best friend in saltines.
i can always count on those crackers to make me feel better.
tonight! i'm going to see COURTNEY. that means the world to me.
it's just something about seeing and talking to someone you've been able to share
your life with since middle school. the ups & the downs, the highs and the lows, the memories and regrets.
the jokes that only the two of you will find funny and can laugh about for hours.
tonight. The Mo-Co Rides again!
you know, i don't know how describe myself or my mind most of the time,
but i've really had a new theory and motto for life these days:
even though you may be scared, even though you might get hurt,
somethings are worth risking things for. because those moments?
i wouldn't give them back for the world.
yes my title today is from the lion king 2. judge away.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/sick.png) hungover
Current Music: tv-one tree hill
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December 22nd, 2009
oh_thechemicals
| 11:38 pm
lets fall in love again.
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oh_thechemicals
| 04:37 pm
i don't even care about christmas anymore.
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rage_more_love
 | 12:18 pm - We're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us?
merry christmas molly!
love, yourself!
so lame. but christmas is pretty lame this year as well.
lesighhh.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/crappy.png) crappy
Current Music: tv-degrassi
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December 21st, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 07:56 pm - baby don't look at me like that, i don't belong to you
i attempted to christmas shop today. hardly got anything done.
i attempted a painting last night, but i'm unhappy with the results.
i got in a huge fight with my mom tonight.
i'm currently drawing a picture i appropriately titled "christmas is overrated"
my heart feels like it's been through a war in less than a week.
sorry these updates suck.
but there's really just not much to say...
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/apathetic.png) apathetic
Current Music: tv-degrassi
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rage_more_love
 | 12:20 am - this is where you belong
"I can't stand this.
Everything seems so loud,
and my loneliness is so loud,
I just want to come home,
I want my art,
I want my books, I want my things, I want my house,
I just wanna be able to kiss you goodnight.
I want my life back.
I want it. I want I want I want I want I want I want."
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/disappointed.png) disappointed
Current Music: none
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December 19th, 2009
oh_thechemicals
| 04:25 pm
i feel like shit mentally and what just happened made me want to just go home. i'm chachaing for the last present and i think i'll be done by the time i'm done with it.
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December 18th, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 05:28 pm - cause you've got hawaii, and i've gotten no letters from you.
December 18th? When did that happen? Fuck.
Lets see I have 6 people to buy/make gifts for. I have 2 done.
I'm having no luck with shopping or creativity this year. *Sighhhh*
something happened. It was amazing. It was heartbreaking.
It really doesn't feel like Friday today, feels more like a Thursday.
I'm hoping for a good weekend, but keeping my expectations extremely low.
I think that's probably my biggest flaw- i set such high expectations of people and events,
that more often than not i start to lose my faith in humanity. in happiness.
promise yourself that this isn't all we've got.
apparently Courtney isn't coming home tomorrow like she was suppose to.
but she didn't answer me as of when she was. i need to see her very badly.
i need to vent to her very badly. i need my best friend, badly.
hm. well i FINALLY signed up for classes. after many trips and headaches i finally got
school to give me transfer credit. they were giving me credit for composition 2 but not composition 1!
makes no sense right? right. but i finally got them to see that and i now have credit and could
sign up for classes they weren't letting me before.
it's not a bad schedule but i wouldn't say it's a good one either. i'm going 5 days a week and all but one
of my classes are on the furthest campus from my house. oh well- good thing i enjoy driving.
(208): can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
one thing that i am super excited about is that i'm FINALLY getting to take Sign Language.
i was suppose to take it at emmanuel, but ended up leaving before i did. Debra took it and loved it,
and for some reason i'm fascinated and can't wait to learn. PLUS now Debra and I can have conversations
no one else can understand! it will help out when we're screaming about sex in the middle of boston. haha.
the biffs <33 (only debra will understand this last part, so disregard it.)
so i'm hoping for a good weekend, but preparing for a bad one.
i can't believe christmas next week. like, whoa.
tonight i'm going out to dinner/movie or shopping with devin. i really like her and am glad i met her at school.
but i don't want her to move to wyoming next month lol.
okay. happy friday!
lets end with a degrassi quote (because i'm THAT cool)
peter: "love the one your with- right?"
mia:"if you can't be with the one you love. asshole."
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/okay.png) okay
Current Music: +44-make you smile
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oh_thechemicals
| 06:26 am
something is missing
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December 17th, 2009
December 16th, 2009
rage_more_love
 | 08:07 pm - we were part of something ours, and ours alone. anywhere was home.
everything keeps going wrong.
i can't stop thinking about you,
i love you, and i miss you, what else is there to say?
"There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief
...and unspeakable love."
i don't have any energy to actually update,
but then again- i really don't have much to say.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y181/turntricks/moodtheme/rejected.png) rejected
Current Music: Wakey! Wakey!- Brooklyn (acoustic)
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oh_thechemicals
| 04:40 pm - Writer's Block: Take this job and shove it ...
yes. a douchey boss that decided to skip training and put me right into things and then complained that i did things too slowly. no wonder, i hadn't been trained to.
no, tbh. i didn't.
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December 15th, 2009
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