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January 26th, 2009
04:09 pm - Recap.
Recap of significant things since last posting:
1. winter break came and went.
2. dx of lupus...going to a rheumatologist in late february for official dx...blah...
3. RA training was ever-so blah.
4. inauguration of 44th president Barack Obama...live in Washington, DC...was AMAZING!
5. GRASS was pretty fun...presented on "addressing the silent rainbow"
Tell me how this makes sense...
I am taking meds for arthritis (part of lupus) and it is for my joint pain. SOOOOOOO...I was reading the drug info papers, and a listed side effect is JOINT PAIN! What the hell?!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/smile.gif) optimistic
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January 25th, 2009
10:50 pm
It's been a long time since I've last posted. I'll try to get better at this thing!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/sad.gif) lonely
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December 27th, 2008
02:19 pm - a little bit of chicken fried
I'm getting a pet fish for my apartment. I don't know what kind yet. Any suggestions?
Current Location: my hiz-ouse
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/wink.gif) giggly
Current Music: zac brown band
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December 24th, 2008
10:29 pm - erry-may ucking-fay ristmas-cray
First off, I stole the title from a friend's lj!
Okay, I just had xmas with my Mom, sisters, step-dad, brother-in-law, potential brother-in-law, and nieces. It was nice. I had fun hanging out and seeing them. I don't see them that much, but it is somewhat nice when I do. We fight a lot, but we love each other too.
My 2 sisters are my half-sisters. The oldest is married with 2 children. She's 29. Her kids are ADORABLE! One is 7 and one is 5. They are my only nieces...and I love them (spoil them) to death!! My middle oldest sister is 27. She is involved in a serious relationship with this guy. He's nice. He came to our xmas celebration. She is living in the city--doing really well. I'm so proud of her.
Okay. This is sappy. Blahhhhh.
I hope you all have a merry xmas...or happy holidays...or WHATEVER.
ESPECIALLY YOU ELI!!!! :) I hope it gets better!
~loves
Current Location: my hiz-ouse
Current Mood: crazy
Current Music: krazy
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December 22nd, 2008
07:23 pm
Hmm. I need to post. It's been a while. Today I got my package for the inauguration speech trip. I am SO PUMPED! It is going to be the trip of a lifetime. Crammed into 48 hours. Holy cudzu. YEAH totally can't wait still.
Tomorrow my sister and her boyfriend come into town for two nights.
I still need to go get my dirty santa gift.
I need to clean my room and most of the house before my aunt gets into town.
I have to bake another pecan pie too.
OKAY I will post a real post later. This is not to be a to-do list. haha :)
Current Location: my brother's room actually
Current Music: the fan gently spinning
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December 17th, 2008
09:18 pm - Is this even possible?
I want to meet a girl who...
Makes my knees shake.
Makes my palms sweaty.
Makes my heart race.
Somebody who supports me in my future...my goals...my aspirations.
Somebody who stands next to me, not infront of or behind me.
Someobody who wipes away my tears and laughs at my corny jokes.
Somebody who doesn't mind staying in and snuggling to some good movies.
Somebody who will watch sports games with me. Yell at the TV during the bad calls.
Somebody who will come watch me play sports or will come work out with me.
Somebody who will send corny but sweet text messages randomly...just to make me smile.
Somebody who will hold my hand in public, not afraid of what other people might think.
Somebody with a passion....or passions...somebody who is pursuing their goals...making a difference.
Somebody who will surprise me with romantic things and want me to surprise them as well.
Talk with me on the phone for hours, just to hear my voice (and vice versa).
A girl that is confident in herself.
Somebody who will play guitar hero with me or sing along to a musical, just for fun.
Somebody who will at least try to cook!!
Somebody who appreciates hugs and kisses and love letters.
Somebody who is responsible....but still knows how to party and have a good time, just in moderation.
Somebody who cares about their education...and theie future.
Somebody who works hard, but loves lazy Saturday afternoons or sleeping in late every once in a while together.
Somebody who doesn't do drugs.
Somebody who likes a variety of music.
Somebody who likes to be neat and clean, but isn't afraid to get down and dirty!
A girl who wants to get to know me...and let me get to know her...
A girl who can treat my heart just the way I would treat hers
Current Location: my bedroom
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/thinking.gif) contemplative
Current Music: let her cry - hootie and the blowfish
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03:04 am
I have no idea why I am awake at 3 AM...and can't go to sleep! But, I have this really, really good feeling right now. It's not explanable. Just a happy feeling. Strange. But good.
OKAY I will go and force myself to watch re-runs on TV until I drift away. Or finish reading "Deception Point" by Dan Brown. Awesome book & AMAZING author.
Klovebye :)
Current Location: my bed
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: wonderwall - oasis
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December 16th, 2008
11:30 am
It feels really good to just have woken up. At 11:30. YES. I love sleeping in. Sometimes. And today is one of those "sometimes."
I went to the doc yesterday. He took a lot of bloodwork. Hopefully it will give me some sort of answers!
Hmm...in other situations. I really don't want to travel on xmas day--as my dad wants to. I'm not going. My dad and brother are. And my grandpa is going out of town as well, but to somewhere else. Regardless...this means xmas at home, by myself. DAMN. That's gonna suck.
Current Mood: giggly
Current Music: chicken fried - zac brown band
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December 13th, 2008
10:39 pm
Last night was entirely too much to post about just yet. I'm exhausted. I got 4 hours of sleep last night. CLOSED the buildilng at 9:30am. Cleaned/Packed/Loaded my car. AND drove home. Blah. I'm really sleepy...and will probably pass out within minutes!
SO, funny story though...tonight I watched an episode of HOUSE with 2 lesbians. They were a couple and on was dying of liver failure (plus something else of course) and well ANYWAYS...her partner gave half her liver to the girl. But there was drama. The point of this story...is that I watched this episode with my dad. It was pretty awkward, I'm not gonna lie.
Growing up with my dad (since like 8th grade) we never really had conversations about any sort of relationship. That was just something we didnt talk about. I think he felt more comfortable talking about alcohol and drugs than sex. I came out to him this semester. He didn't take it that well--he thinks I'm confused but he still loves me. BUT, it's just really awkward now. I make a point to avoid or ignore those conversations and I always change the subject when I think he's about to say something (which is rare, but almost happened tonight when that episode was playing.) OKAY. that's my story and I'm sticking to it ;)
Also. Bradshaw wont the hiesman. I was for Tim Tebow. No, I'm not a Florida fan. BUT, I am a devout SEC fan....even those pesky gators that took the tide out last weekend!
I will explain Friday night tomorrow perhaps. For now...my lovely bed is calling me :)
Current Mood: hot
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12:23 pm - bittersweet
dean's list.
done with work.
last night SUCKED hard-core. i'll post about it later. ugh. sometimes i hate my life.
BUT...dean's list. yay. 14 hours next semester...and i'll have HOPE back :)
going home now. home, home...not the apartment. yessssss.
Current Mood: exhausted
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December 12th, 2008
06:58 pm - i like girls...and they like me?
why the fuck am I having muscle spasms?
ughhhh. i hate this.
we're doing walk-throughs.
tomorrow a.m. meeting with the boss.
then i'm OUT till jan....hell yes!!
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07:19 am
I am up early to go run errands before work. I'm working till like 1:00pm...at which time I will be taking a nap :)
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December 9th, 2008
09:40 pm - I am...
going to die from studying too much.
Seriously.
Brain is in in OVERload.
Not cool.
Totally, not cool.
SOMEBODY SAVEEEEEEEEEEE ME FROM THIS!
Current Mood: drained
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December 8th, 2008
08:42 pm - Lack of sleep.
I'm really sleepy. I haven't been able to sleep for the quantities that I usually sleep for recently. I don't know what is wrong. Probably the meds! I wake up after 7 - 7.5 hours and can't go back to sleep. This isn't big--but I like to sleep for like at least 9 - 10 hours every night. Sucks when that cycle isn't the same.
My knees only hurt a little today. Although, my elbows are bothering me now. Nothing sharp, sudden, or excrutiating, but it isn't pleasant. Blah. I hate being loopy all the times on meds. But I do love that damn parking pass! Woot Woot! :)
I am going to the Inauguration Speech for the 44th President. I am SO PUMPED! I am one of 10 going from GSU~it's going to be a blast!
Dec. 13th - Jan. 2nd: Winter Break = No work, Relaxing, Cleaning, Studying, SLEEPING, Taking LONG bubble baths, ETC.
Jan. 3rd - 4th: B-ball game with Dad, Move back into apt.
Jan. 8th - 11th: OMI
Jan. 12th: First Day of Spring 09 Semester (Countdown to Graduation = 1.5 years)
Jan. 19 - 21: Inauguration in Washington, DC
Jan. 23rd - 24th: GRASS @ Columbus State
Jan. 30 - 31: GRHO @ GSU
Feb. 6th - 7th: SLDC @ USC (maybe)
I am taking the following classes for Spring 09:
PSYC 3141 (Research Methods)
PSYC 3237 (Psychology of Human Sexuality) -- I know...it's gonna ROCK!
SPAN 1002 (Spanish 2)
HIST 1112 (World History 2)
Don't know much else. Waiting on my study group to arrive. 1 final down. 3 to go. I'm about to be a flippin' senior in college! Damn this feels good!! =]
I hope all is well for everybody...yesterday was a bit of a scare for me....know that I love you both and am here if you need me!
Current Mood: drained
Current Music: people being too damn loud at the library
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December 7th, 2008
01:47 pm - This is not focused towards anybody in particular. Just me ranting.
I am sick and fucking tired of people being immature. Grow the fuck up. I mean, act like your actual age for a change. This is rediculous. OMG. UGH!
We have it so fucking good and some people aren't grateful for any fucking thing! I mean, there are people who don't even have a fucking house. Or clean drinking water. Or any fucking thing. We bitch about the smallest things. UGHHHHHHHHH.
So, I am at the library. Staying here for 5 total hours. Currently procrastinating. Need to get back to wrok. Umm...four exams away from technically being a senior in college. Hour wise, not time wise though. Hard to believe that time is flying by so quickly!
Goals. I have many goals.
1. Make portfolio with Peer/Aspirational/Ideal Schools and their GLBT opps/resources. Compared to GSU. Need at GSU. Desire to see this happen at GSU. Time frame = end of this year (May 09) or end of summer (July 09)
2. Be the best RA I can be. Do extra programs. Get more involved. I love this job!
3. Students for Clean Drinking Water. LOTS of goals. Be more organized. Have regular meetings. ACCOMPLISH things. Raise funds. 5K run for water. Swim meet in community.
4. H4H. Do fundraisers 2 times a month!
5. AND ACTUALLY HAVE THE TIME OF MY LIFE.
That's all for now. I am not dealing with drama. I am moving on. And, even if that means leaving people behind, it might come down to that. I have to do the best thing for me. And, right now.....that's not dealing with drama/immature things. I have goals. I have dreams. And, it's time I start working on them.
Current Location: club hendi
Current Music: people being annoying in the library!
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December 3rd, 2008
10:33 pm - I might as well post an entry here.
I am supposed to be writing an essay for my application to be a delegate from GSU to go to the Inauguration Speech on Jan. 20. I am procrastinating though. I am at home. I have a post-opp appointment tomorrow morning. I have to drive an hour north, then turn around and go back past my home-town and then back to school. I have class at 2, work at 4, staff meeting at 5:30, then party at 9. I am ready though! The only major thing I have to do tomorrow is, well 2 things, I have to study for my last Spanish composition. I need to brush up on vocabulary and such. I also need to study a little bit for my last PSYC 2231 test, which is also on Friday. It should be easy though! Hmm..what else?
Well, I am waiting for my Friday test results. I am on darvocet, prednisone, claritan, aciphex, and acetaminophin. BLAH. I had a freak out on Tuesday. I got a rash on Sunday, but brushed it off as nothing. Then Tuesday morning I woke up in excrutiating pain in my knees. My knees wouldn't work properly either, so that was really scary. They ran blood work and gave me a shot for pain. They think that it could be either an allergic reaction of some sort to either Percocet or E-mycin (both of which I was taking during and after my wisdom teeth surgery,) or I could have some sort of autoimmune problem that is causing my body to attack my joints--specifically my knees. The preliminary blood work showed that my kidney, liver, and all other areas were functioning normally. The big tests that they were trying to figure out--haven't gotten back yet. Hopefully I will know soon. I need some answers. Something!! Ugh. I hate being drowsy all the time and the heartburn that the prednisone is giving me. I just want to be drug-free and healthy with no pain. That doesn't sound like a ton to ask for to me. :-?
Well I need to write that essay now. Peace out. Longer post later. (I've always wanted to write that!!) Haha ~:-)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/classic/blah.gif) lethargic
Current Music: absolute silence =]
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November 30th, 2008
09:10 am - It's not coming back.
I won't let it.
Nope.
Not gonna happen.
Or so I hope, at least?
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November 29th, 2008
05:08 pm
I really just want to meet my Prince Charming. Or Cinderella. Either one. Gender is fluid. Love is fluid. I just want love. Real love again. Not fake love. Not bullshit love. I want that stomach churning, sweaty palms, butterflies all around kind of love again. And, this time, I want it with the right person. :)
Current Music: the fan gently spinning
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02:39 am - Why is this always a TO DO LIST area?
It's almost 3:00 AM now. I am sitting once again in front of my little brother's computer, tyring to be quiet because he has to go to work really early. We had a power outage for six hours earlier tonight. It SUCKED. I fell asleep during most of it, and now I can't fall asleep now!
I have written an extra credit paper for Social Psychology though, which is good. I still have to do the following:
+ finish essay for Inauguration Speech Application
+ finish Leadership Philosophy Paper
+ get my Holiday Helper Tree person her present :)
+ finish workbook project for stats & buy a 0.5" binder for it to go in
+ go back and make sure I've done all spanish online assignments & get ahead with them
+ make flash cards for the final Social Psychology exam
+ write the last two OTM's that I am planning on writing for November
This is not to mention the stuff that my dad has planned for tomorrow.
He is waking me up rediculously early to go get a xmas tree. We didn't get one today, due to inclement weather. We are going to set it up tomorrow, decorate, then I am going to do all of the above while watching some quality football games! I think tomorrow will be a long, but fun day. I also have to make a point to call or go see my Mom. I have to get that tacky sweater, plus some stuff for a party that I'm throwing for xmas at my apartment.
Will write more later. And not a freaking to-do list next time (maybe!) Love love love love! :)
Current Music: my brother snoring :P
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November 27th, 2008
05:34 pm - Happy turkey day 2008.
As I sit here in front of my little brother's computer at home, I am in pain. My stomach hurts a lot. Not because I ate too much (I probably didn't eat enough today.) My mouth tastes like pills that halfway dissolved in my mouth and like cotton balls (I have had minor bleeding today with guaze jammed in my mouth.) My head is freezing, partially because of the wet hair that is remaining from my cold shower to help with my pain and half because I have a freeze pack that goes all the way around my head. I feel nausous (sp?) from the medicine, yet I need it to cope with the pain. I am scratching (itching) myself like I a am a drug addict, which quite frankly kind of scares me.
I love my family for having thanksgiving dinner early this year (Sunday) so that I could enjoy the good holiday food. Today, we are doing it again. Not so much enjoying though. I made another round of cornbread dressing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, and mac and cheese. My dad made turkey (again) and ham (my FAVE) this time. I doubt the ham will get adequate stuffing into my mouth yet. I'll definitely try though. I need to get back downstairs to check on the food--but I wanted to stop and blog a bit. Today isn't the happiest thanksgiving I've ever had, but it has been fun somewhat and relaxing for the most part. (Minus the meds making me feel like crap.)
I am so very thankful for all of my blessings. I have friends and family who love me (or at least most of me ;)) and that means the world. I have so much that many will never or could never have, and I won't take that for granted a single day of my life. I push to strive for excellence knowing that I have much more than I should have been given. Life is just life and it's about living. Days turn into months and then years, and I just hope that at the end of my life I can say that I'm satisfied.
Okay, enough philisophical for ya. I'm going to go take another percocet and eat some thanksgiving dinner. :) Much love on Turkey Day 08!
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